someone completely fucks you over hardcore, and you have, just yesterday, managed to pretty much completely kick them out of your life, and then you’re in a grocery store at 10 on a Sunday night looking for dried apple slices, and you’re walking down a promising aisle when you see a girl at the other end of the aisle and you think “Huh, if it weren’t for her hair I’d say that was his ex- OH MY GOD IT IS" and you try to turn around to avoid weirdness but it is too late because now you have locked eyes and there is some really, really weird staring before you both turn around (rather conspicuously) and go your separate ways, and you finish your shopping but while you’re in line you catch her out of the corner of your eye standing right behind you in line, and you can feel her eyes BORING THROUGH THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL with the extreme awkwardness of it all, and you try to act cool but fuck it up when you grab your food, book it out the door, leap into the car, and drive away at lightning speed so you don’t accidentally hit her when she’s coming out of the store or something along those lines and somehow make it more weird because, universe, it is really NOT fair when you are just almost over someone really really terrible to throw their super attractive ex girlfriend at you when you are innocently searching for dried fruit late at night.
“Never go to a second location with a kidnapper because you will be killed. If they’re like, ‘Get in the car, I’m not going to kill you’ - you are going to get killed. Don’t get in the car. Don’t get in the trunk, ever. If you do get in the trunk, there is a tail light. Punch it out and stick your arm out. Fucking serial killers are such dicks. Fire-starting, bed-wetting and killing small animals - those are all precursors that I think 98 per cent of serial killers do before the age of 15. So if you go on a date with a guy and he tells you, ‘By the way I was wetting my bed and starting fires’ , and if he is killing small animals at the dinner table - bad guy to be on a date with.”—Matthew Gray Gubler (via cmdaily-)